Keep it simple sweetheart, survival

Survival for parents of a child with disabilities


Paula Holdeman is a busy mother of four children, which requires extra time due to their disabilities. Instead of retreating, she’s learned to overcome. The first part of Paula’s story offers parents advice on determining priorities. Click here to find it. Below, Paula shares four additional survival skills that’s helped her carry on with her journey.

1. Don’t sweat the small stuff.

Who cares if you didn’t make your bed today, just close the bedroom door. So what if the doctors want $50 per month toward the medical bills, and you can only afford $20 per month — they can’t repossess your child. Most children don’t complain about a store-bought birthday cake instead of a homemade cake.

2. KISS, Keep It Simple Sweetheart.

Work on uncluttering your life. Again focus on your priorities – whatever they are. Don’t try to be supermom; we all know you can’t do it all. Do you? So why try? And the secret is out! No one expects you to do it all.

3. Let go of the guilt.

If someone asks, “What did you do wrong to have a baby like this?” Tell them to walk a mile in your shoes! My time-honored response to that question is, “And what did you do to become an idiot?”

Ok, so if you’re more tactful than me, try responding with one from Ann Landers. “I’m surprised you have the nerve to ask such an insensitive question!”

Do whatever works for you.

4. Find someone who has walked the walk.

While husbands are great, they carry the same burden. Parents’ hearts break when they listen to your overwhelming sadness, and sisters only want to tell you what to do. Doctors listen and then prescribe antidepressants. That’s why it’s  important find someone who knows what you’re going through and will offer a shoulder to cry on. Friends like these are definitely few and far between and are worth their weight in gold!

I realize you don’t know me personally, but if you ever need someone to talk to who has been there, done that, and even bought the t-shirt, I encourage you to call me, 406.765.2927.

Your Survival Specialist,

Paula Holdeman

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